metal mouth

Dear followers of my blog, i know i havn’t mentioned anything about this yet but next month marks the fourth month since i started my braceface journey.

Yes!! Five months ago, after years of contemplation, i finally mustered the courage to get my teeth fixed and i swear it’s one of the best decisions i have ever made in my life!!! The amount of weight i’ve lost and the changes to my facial structure has given me this surge of confidence which i lost someway somehow.

I would by lying if i didn’t say that i panicked a little bit at the thought of wearing braces as an adult (i’m old). I have a pair of fangs on my upper teeth which i’ve had a love-hate relationship with for the longest time. I’ve received compliments from alot of men (inc my dad) telling me how woman in japan spend thousands of dollars to get them implanted and here i am doing the reverse. Of course i had my fair share of negative remarks too. Maybe it’s totally vain, but i worried that braces would make me feel totally unattractive.. and fuck man i was sooo wrong. I never knew guys fancies girls with braces this much !!! hahhahaa okay i’m so exhausted one more month to freedom goodnight loves x

my Seth Cohen

california dreaming, i think i’d fit right in
the evening walks are heaven you know
it’s like walking on a dream…

can’t wait x

 

rendang

I’ve had just about enough to keep me on my feet with the talks of philosophies and how life still goes on despite the massive stress and anxiety attacks. You see, being slammed with assignments is perpetually occurring whether you like it or not. And then here comes the part : you either ace it, or you don’t.

You ace it, you start treading the pathway of your life onto.. say maybe.. your first million? Ok, on more pragmatic terms, make it your first pay cheque.
And then if you are somewhere on the mediocre level , you start planning how to improvise. While i am sure some have thoughts of marrying rich people and live in tai-tai avenue but honestly, screw the last one if you ever did step into that bubble. This is Singapore. Start investing in your life, not people.

2 years just went past like that in a blink of an eye, can you fucking believe it!? It feels like just yesterday i strolled into the conference room on orientation day feeling like an alien because i looked so much different from everyone else….. still do…

Anyhoo, today marks a fruitful completion of completing more assignments. Not all the modules though, just one unfortunately, but still, it feels pretty good. I shall promise myself to smoke lesser and work more. As for now, it’s time for more sleep hahahahaha

Cheers and have a great week ahead lovelies 🙂

ps: Selamat Hari Raya !

I’m back. I have so much to think about. 

I am just thankful to be safe where I am right now. God has blessed me for the thousandth time. The thousandth million fucking time. 

When will you ever grow up Francesca. 

世界只能靠自己。 一回来就一直问钱钱钱钱钱拿来。 
算了吧。 家庭这个意思到底有什么道理？

zach

I wish i had done more for you, when you came to me secretly pleading for help. But what did i do? I brushed you off. For fucks sake, i brushed you off. And just week ago, you spoke of a better and new life for yourself and about placing your life in Gods will, and that along with his guidance, you would make it out a better person. I was proud of you but i was still skeptical, i brushed you off, and i’ve brushed you off for the past 2 years. And now you’ve left us all.

It feels like only yesterday when you gave me my first ever cigarette and taught me how to smoke, or would help me buy those $2.50 packs for me just cause i was underaged. I remember that one time i was frustrated at you and threw my lighted cigarette at your face because you kept knocking your stupid steel toes on me. Or when you would pick me up and we’d walk over to church for service together before heading out to meet the rest of our friends. Fast forward, when i was at my shop and you were so fucking high, you came over and wrecked it and i was so fucking pissed, haha that was actually pretty funny.

It only feels like yesterday when you would call me just to sing No use For A Name or Taking Back Sunday songs for me. I’m sorry i didn’t do enough when you were at your most fragile. Forgive me.

Rest now my brother, for you shall reign forever and ever in Christ.

May angels lead you in my dearest x

“I look at you now and I know that this is all going to be well worth it for you Francesca, you always had it in you. No one bothered to tell you enough, I know you think you’re not as strong as everyone thinks you are, so I’ll tell you until you believe me. You can do it, you know you can.”